Wilhelm

In 2019 Leyland Kirby A.K.A. The Caretaker released the final instalment for his musical masterpiece Everywhere At The End Of Time, a six-part project he describes as "dementia with sound." Kirby was inspired by the ability of Alzheimer's patients to recall songs of their past and with them recollections of places, people, moods and sensations. For 20 years he has released bodies of work that delve into the idea of memory, for his last project as The Caretaker he wanted to delve into what it was like to slowly lose all the memories he had gained.

With a run time of six and a half hours it’s hard to put into words a true reflection of this project but I will give a small insight to my thoughts and feelings for the series below without ruining the experience.

I discovered Everywhere over 2 years ago, late at night, deep into a Youtube rabbit hole. The world was extra quiet, as the city and suburbs of Melbourne were heavy into the pandemic. I can't remember if it was the album artwork or title that took my attention first, it may have been both at the same time. I love artists who have the ability to create titles that leave me thinking about the meaning of an idea for long periods of time, forming phrases that gives reason to a feeling or thought that I previously never had the right words for. This was it. Kirby's acute choice of words doesn't stop at the title of the album, it translates further through each song and description for each of the six stages, giving enough to set the scene and what may be before you, without revealing the full explanation. Kirby’s words are a slight push off the edge so you begin to fall or a ball to get your mind rolling. You grow with each song as the idea of these emotions you are feeling being someone else’s reality gives chills down your spine.

What I love about this work is that it is challenging, I am yet to sit through the full body of work in one sitting or even two for that matter, that's how heavy it is, but this has never stopped me from finishing it each time. In the beginning it is grand and warm, slow and calm, but it slowly breaks you down, taking your hope away from you, the familiar sounds become confusing and drawn out, they start to feel colder. Some songs suddenly end whilst others are just the static of what can only be described as a house with lights on, but no one is home. It becomes hard to make sense, you're left uncomfortable up until the final minutes where you’re met with the holy and ghostly sounds of the haunted ballroom within your mind.

Accompanying each individual stage is an original artwork by Ivan Seal, a friend and regular collaborator of Kirby's. The paintings are an incredible visual expression of the sounds they're matched with, depicting familiar objects that are slightly off in their form and description. They act as a twisted depiction of reality, unable to be truly defined.

For this series I have created my own individual artworks for the six stages of the album. Each time I would sit with this work I would feel overwhelmed by the idea of it all, but finally after two years I have something of my own to show. Kirby and Seal have created a masterful dark and enlightening piece of art that I have never experienced before, one they both put their heart into and it can be felt.

Each image has been paired with The Caretaker's description for each stage of the album along with it’s track list. Songs with a '☆' are different compositions that I have enjoyed in different ways.

As described above this album is heavy and harrowing, it can cause great discomfort and have a deep effect on your mental well being. For those wanting to listen proceed with caution and enjoy.

To support The Caretaker's work you can purchase Everywhere At The End Of Time here.

Stage 1 - (A+B)

Here we experience the first signs of memory loss.
This stage is most like a beautiful daydream.
The glory of old age and recollection.
The last of the great days.

A1 - It's just a burning memory ☆
A2 - We don't have many days
A3 - Late afternoon drifting ☆
A4 - Childishly fresh eyes
A5 - Slightly bewildered ☆
A6 - Things that are beautiful and transient ☆

B1 - All that follows is true
B2 - An autumnal equinox ☆
B3 - Quiet internal rebellions
B4 - The loves of my entire life
B5 - Into each others eyes
B6 - My heart will stop in joy ☆

Stage 2 - (C+D)

The second stage is the self realisation and awareness that something is wrong with a refusal to accept that. More effort is made to remember so memories can be more long form with a little more deterioration in quality. The overall personal mood is generally lower than the first stage and at a point before confusion starts setting in.

C1 - A losing battle is raging ☆
C2 - Misplaced in time
C3 - What does it matter how my heart breaks
C4 - Glimpses of hope in trying times
C5 - Surrendering to despair ☆

D1 - I still feel as though I am me ☆
D2 - Quiet dusk coming early ☆
D3 - Last moments of pure recall
D4 - Denial unravelling
D5 - The way ahead feels lonely ☆

STAGE 3 - (E+F)
Here we are presented with some of the last coherent memories before confusion fully rolls in and the grey mists form and fade away. Finest moments have been remembered, the musical flow in places is more confused and tangled. As we progress some singular memories become more disturbed, isolated, broken and distant. These are the last embers of awareness before we enter the post awareness stages.

E1 - Back there Benjamin
E2 - And heart breaks
E3 - Hidden sea buried deep ☆
E4 - Libet's all joyful camaraderie
E5 - To the minimal great hidden ☆
E6 - Sublime beyond loss ☆
E7 - Bewildered in other eyes ☆
E8 - Long term dusk glimpses

F1 - Gradations of arms length
F2 - Drifting time misplaced ☆
F3 - Internal bewildered World
F4 - Burning despair does ache
F5 - Aching cavern without lucidity
F6 - An empty bliss beyond this World 
F7 - Libet delay
F8 - Mournful camaraderie

Stage 4 - (G+H+I+J)

Post-Awareness Stage 4 is where serenity and the ability to recall singular memories gives way to confusions and horror. It's the beginning of an eventual process where all memories begin to become more fluid through entanglements, repetition and rupture.

G1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions

H1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions

I1 - Stage 4 Temporary Bliss State ☆

J1 - Stage 4 Post Awareness Confusions ☆

STAGE 5 - (K+L+M+N)

Post-Awareness Stage 5 confusions and horror. More extreme entanglements, repetition and rupture can give way to calmer moments. The unfamiliar may sound and feel familiar. Time is often spent only in the moment leading to isolation. 

K1 - Stage 5 Advanced plaque entanglements

L1 - Stage 5 Advanced plaque entanglements

M1 - Stage 5 Synapse retrogenesis

N1 - Stage 5 Sudden time regression into isolation

STAGE 6 - (O+P+Q+R)

Post-Awareness Stage 6 is without description.

O1 - Stage 6 A confusion so thick you forget forgetting

P1 - Stage 6 A brutal bliss beyond this empty defeat

Q1 - Stage 6 Long decline is over

R1 - Stage 6 Place in the World fades away ☆
 

This photographic series is dedicated to Stan & John.